Providence, RI,

I attended a class at Brown University taught by my nephew-in-law Dan Vaca, Professor of Humanities. This is a seminar class as opposed to a lecture so there are only 21 students, supposed to be 18 but Dan relinquished. With this size class, 30% of the final grade is based on class participation, discussion starters submitted before class (20%) and discussion leading in class (10%). The course, “Christmas in America” explores how Christmas became a religious, consumer and social extravaganza. This week’s topic was “Santa Clause and Company: Discipline and Reward.” I read the pre-work, one article on “panopticism” which I had no idea what it was and a second article on the history of “A Visit from St. Nicholas” the precursor to “The Night Before Christmas,” the second being a Pleasantville version of the first.

The class and the topic were interesting, more so than anything I remember from college where classes were a means to an end. I read and studied to make a good grade instead of absorbing the content and appreciating what I was learning. I was thinking about the next step, graduating and getting a job that, without studying, would give my nights back. That was a major misconception.

I liked everything about being in Dan’s class, spending time on an Ivy League campus; the material; the students take on the material; and the students themselves. The class was more diverse in culture than it was in gender with only four guys to seventeen females. I had to fend off a prudish opinion on how a few girls dressed, ragged jeans and a crop top, essentially a sports bra. But then I thought “good for her” to have the confidence to dress like she wants, and she looked great. There was good discussion, with only a few students remaining silent. I liked seeing hands pop up, and Dan naming the order on who would speak next.

Julia left me a “lol” text asking if I had completed my application to Brown. I wonder how things would be different if I had applied to four-year college out of high school. I went to Blue Ridge Community College before transferring to Mars Hill and then getting an MBA at Queens University. Dad had died three years prior, and I didn’t feel right leaving Mom. There wasn’t a lot of money, but I could have found it, as I did two years later. It wasn’t an academic issue. I was second in my class which threw my brother-in-law for a loop. He thought I was going to Blue Ridge because I didn’t have the grades to get into a university. He almost fell off the bleacher when I was introduced as the salutatorian. Looking back, another reason I didn’t apply to other colleges is lack of guidance. Mom’s post high school education was business school for secretarial skills, a common practice in the ’40’s. She was still grieving so we didn’t talk much about education. I should have gotten better guidance from my high school guidance counselor. It’s been 44 years, so it could have happened, but I recall little discussion about my options.

I went on to have a great college experience and meet lifelong friends, and most important, be named godmother to the son of two of these friends. Even though my Brown experiece prompted “What if?” I am responsible for the choices I make to determine the life I live. I didn’t set out to be a banker or to be in business for that matter. I majored in business administration because that’s where the opportunity was, and it worked out well. Banking took me to California where I lived half a block from the Pacific ocean and then half a block from the Sunset Strip; have a close group of friends who I’ve traveled with and celebrated birthdays and holidays with for almost 30 years; and done some really cool things.  My first stint at Bank of America afforded me trips to Europe, India, Hong Kong, China, Indonesia and Mexico. My second stint at the Bank introduced me to smart and successful CEO’s.

Though I’m not deciding where to go to school or what is my long-term career path, I have important decisions to make when I’ve completed my “Where in American is Arden” tour. My choices need to be thoughtful and purposeful, so the outcome is not something I wander into but something I aim to do. And I need to seek guidance.